N: 'Shall I do your boots up?'

K: 'No, I putting my lace up my nose so I can get my snot out.'

30 secs later

K 'I finished'

Me: 'Do you think you could give up food for 40 days and 40 nights Lou?'

Louis: 'What do you think I am, Jesus?'

K: Daddy san-ta come in a opilicopter

E: No she's not

N: If I'm not a genius what am I?

E: A widow

N: No I'm not a widow, do you know what a widow is?

E: No

N: A widow is a married woman who's been left behind after her husband dies.

E: Nooooo I said you're a weirdo.

L: Yeah to me that's not so interesting

N: OK yeah fair enough.

Mummy, what's that?

It's a totem pole.

What's a totem pole?

Well it's a place that communities come together to worship. You know the way that we come together and worship in a church sometimes, well other communities choose to celebrate around a totem pole.

Mummy can you stop talking

Yep

Will you still get paid?

Yes I will. Just because I'm not at work it doesn't mean I'm not going to get paid.

OK.

[silence]

Will you get paid double when you go in tomorrow.

I wish Ebs.